is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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