oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm like, not good at living.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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