Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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