just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
