Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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