dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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