my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize