I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
