there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize