new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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