Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He felt like a one man threesome
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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