community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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