Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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