I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
