Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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