I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
