you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Let's get the cat blown out
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
