and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize