i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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