do herpes really smell.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
