i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
