the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
