Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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