we're blogging at a bar
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We left an ass print on the piano.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
