i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
