But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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