.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
