Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize