Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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