covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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