His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
