They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
