I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
