Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
