I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
