The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
