Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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