some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
