hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
