Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
