Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
