hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
