Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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