How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
