I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
