I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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