so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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