You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
