Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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