where am i from again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
