The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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