His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
