Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
