Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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