Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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