I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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