Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think people are normalizing furries
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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