Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i will never coherently bang her
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
