So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
