Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
