I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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