I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
