...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
