So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
