no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
