I just pynch a tree in the face
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
