she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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