There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
