Those balls look pretty dangerous.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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