If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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