guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize